I’m someplace you’ll never be, you see.

I just hate people, that’s all. Except for my coworkers. They’re p cool. I enjoy them; they’re good people. They make my trip through hell that much better. I’ll miss them when I eventually have to quit; and I know that they’ll miss me. I like to make them laugh, in any manner possible. Like, in this example.

We have a little table set up for a charity, because lots of people frequent our place for some reason. Well, one of the girls bought a scented pencil; but she left it in my kitchen. My kitchen is my domain; I knew she bought it and it was time to have a little fun. Before, I’d ninja something of hers, because she leaves things in plain sight and wonders where they are later. So, I’d take an item, put it someplace else and come up with a riddle for her to solve. Something simple, but not obvious. Like if I had something in an open container, I’d tell her something like “I’m in a room with a floor, four walls but no ceiling.” I’d leave it at that, and let her figure it out; and if she didn’t, I’d go get it and give it back to her.

You get the idea, right?

Okay, back to the pencil.

So, I grabbed it without her knowing and hid it in my pocket. You could tell with the pants I was wearing. Later I would say “Really, you’re accusing me of taking your pencil. I’m beyond that.” She bought the lie for like half an hour then asked me where it was. So, like old times, I’d think up a riddle. Tonight, it was the page’s title “I’m someplace you’ll never be, you see.” She thought about it, but had to waitress. Every time I would see her, I’d ask her if she figured it out. Nope.

This went on for hours. I told her she’d get it back when she left. The time was now. I finally asked her if she figured it out one last time before I’d reveal where it was. Nope. “Alright, watch. I’m someplace you’ll never be..” I pulled the pencil from my pocket and gave it back.

“In your pocket?”
“No, in my pants.”

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