Final Fantasy V: Page 3

This is where the cave ends up taking us.

The EXTREMELY LARGE and useful world map I found.

This town is two tiles big. It’s better.

By now, ‘Harvest’ should have finished, so listen to it while I’m in this town.

What could be in here?

Butte, stop playing with the piano, it makes my ears bleed.


Don’t these people know how to row a boat?

Way to rub it in. Dick.

I like swords!
Welcome to our town!
I like swords!
Welcome to our town!
I like swords!
Welcome to our–
Point being, Butte is retarded.

Good idea, Butte. Let’s climb a FUCKING MOUNTAIN!

Insane enemies.

Touch those flowers and you get poisoned.

What does it mean!?

Why is my party retarded? She literally WALKED into the trap, that I did not take a picture of.


Good time for Lavos to awaken.

Sounds like a haughty bitch.

Again, I ask–why is my party fucking retarded?

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Yeah. That was pretty good. Pretty good…for a girl.

Women do have more hiding places than men. I don’t even want to know where the rope came from.

What are you going to do? Shoot us? Seen it.

This should be easy.

Oh. Well. Fuck.


I’m starting to not trust this party to do ANYTHING right.

Something stupid?

Something stupid.

DUMB! I thought Butte was the retarded one.

Ah, well. Nice knowing you, Pink.

Not so much rash, but fucking retarded.

Well she almost died. Let’s go guys! :downs:

Let’s take the chance to laugh at Butte, some more.


Maybe he’ll have a heart attack, and we can replace him with a more sensible leader–like Galuf.

In our pimp dragon with spinnahs. It can’t fly over mountains, because it’s a low rider.

Let’s go investigate stuff.

Not a pub in sight. Good. I’m spared ear bleeding piano lessons.

What is this strange magic?

I’ll just beat up on his friends later, alright?

They just let anyone in, it seems.

“Be prepared.”

There’s Butte, trying to sound like an adult again.

This is anything but bad. Disco lighting, yeah.


Oh look, it cleared a path.

Hmm. The plot tries to thicken.

Do you believe us now?

Hey, it’s that one thing from before.

Sure we can. I need some new powers.

Ten seconds.

Well, hell. Even though we beat it, the crystal still broke.

Wait. How in the hell does he know Galuf?

Looks like five new jobs.

Of course.

Hm. We’ll see what they can do in a second. There’s just one more, slightly off screen to get.

Well, hell.

Wait just a second.. The party is STILL INSIDE!

We’re so fucked.


Did he Butte? YES.

After a good meal, yes.


We will now be playing as the Sea Monster.

“Last”? That doesn’t sound too good.


“I hit shit, I hit shit hard.”

“I casts the spells on my sword then put the pointy end into the soft end!”

“I give you speed buffs!”

“I summon un-holy creatures to do our bidding. You seriously want me on board.”

“I can do anything.”

What will happen now? The sea dragon thing died TWICE in one game. That’s just wrong, Square.

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