Parasite Eve: Page 14

Alright, welcome to the more cinematic, action-oriented part of Day 5. This update has roughly 10 videos. Let’s get this day OVER with!

Day 5: Evolution, part 5.

Admiral: I’m Williams, I command this ship. Sorry to have you come on such short notice.

Danny boy: Hey! You better not put Aya in danger here!

Captain: You! Who do you think you are, talking to the Admiral that way!

Williams: It’s quite all right, Lynch… After all, he is right…

Maeda: What…? What do you mean?

Williams: You’re the only one that can’t be ignited by her… I’m asking you to get in our chopper and nuke the creature.

Danny boy: Hold on! Aya can’t fly a helicopter!

Lynch: Not to worry. The chopper’s been set to auto. She won’t have any problems.

Maeda: S, so she just needs to fire from a distance, where she can’t be ignited…?

Lynch: Unfortunately the weapon needs to be fired at close range in order to work… And we cannot move in that close since WE will be ignited…

Aya: Well… I’ll do it…!

Danny boy: Aya! NO WAY! You’re not goin’ UP THERE!!

Williams: Our fate lies in your hands, Aya…

Oh, what is it this time!?!

Thanks Danno!

Famous last words!

This is literally a two second video.

Let’s do it for her!


Let’s do this!

Rollin’, rollin, rollin’.


Can do!

Yet ANOTHER two second video!

That the Navy is disposable.

Another video! SURE!

And another one’s gone! Go Suicide Squad!

Let’s get rid of a couple more lemmings.

Go go Gadget Video!

Another one bites the dust.

Whatever. More deaths for the death god.

Jinkies, another one?

And that marks the end of the Suicide Squad.

Aya be pissed because of all these videos. So am I.


Aya gets violent when she’s angry.

Missile + Face =



Eh, so it fell over. Screw the French anyway.

Excuse me? What’s this ‘we’ shit?

“Because this is a late 90’s Square game. There has to be an angelic final boss that symbolizes God. It also has to have multiple forms. I HAVEN’T DONE THAT YET!”

What does she see? ANOTHER VIDEO!

This is good!

You know, the hands and arms coming out of the head is a turn-off.

Oh yes, she’s pissed.

“She’s calling to me…”

You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking “Point of no return”.

So we save in a different slot!



“Before jumping, always make sure your gun is fully loaded and ready to go.”

Ohhh, she’s angry!

This is going to be good, I can tell!

Yeah, who else would it be?

Eve: Hmph… That must be the name of my host… Lemme guess… your SISTER? You HAVE the ability to EVOLVE! Why take the side of a DOOMED species?!

Aya: Humans aren’t doomed. If my mitochondria has the ability to evolve… it’ll evolve to get rid of YOU!

Eve: Hahaha… LOVE that sense of humor of yours, girl… Why is it that humans kill? Humans kill other creatures and they even kill their own kind…

Aya: We have OUR reasons. And YOU sure are a good enough reason for us to KILL!

Eve: Hahaha… All organisms have something called a “territory”. This territory is guarded from natural enemies. But until now, humans had no such “natural enemy”. THAT is what has allowed them to prosper to this point. You beings must think of your prosperity as “history”… But you’re WRONG! We mitochondria have lived within the human being… and have ALLOWED you to prosper…

Aya: …What?

Eve: Hahaha… WE mitochondria have MADE you create the perfect environment for us. Humans have come to rely on civilization and have lost touch with innate physical abilities. Can’t you see that it’s the perfect scenario?

Aya: What…? Then you’re saying that… Humans were kept alive for the mitochondria’s sake?!

Eve: Hmph… you humans just served as transportation vehicles for us.

Aya: …What do you mean?

Eve: Vehicles to transport us to the time the mitochondria would become free again… Hahaha… But you see, the “vehicle” is no longer needed anymore… From now on, the mitochondria will become human beings and will RULE this earth!
Ah, a final boss speech!

Pretend that I used Aya’s ultimate attack on her.

Oh, will I now?

Oh, look. Angelic form. It doesn’t hurt that she looks pretty ‘normal’. Oh no.

Let’s just pretend that she’s a whore and that I used Aya’s ultimate attack. Again.

Does this mean!

Yes, it does! Video!

Alright, I held in all the boob jokes for the entire play through. But:
Damn, those things are huge.

I take back anything I said about ‘normal looking’, though.

Is this it!?!

“Who’s prettier now, bitch!”

“Melt with yooooouuuuuuuu.”
I don’t know.

Mission complete!

Next update: That was almost TOO easy!

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