Let’s see where we take Sammy tonight!
Oh, wait. I forgot something up here.
Haha, wait. I can freeze these little bitches, and use my bouncy ball and..
Scan mode: ON. Target: Sucks.
Hay, a faster way to go! We’ll let gravity do the work.
There’s only one logical way to go here.
Going down is fun, I hear.
DOES NOT COMPUTE!
This tests Space Jump skills. In Lava. With things that shoot at me. And Spikes.
You would think that was suspicious.
Lower Nofair (that’s not how it’s spelled, but that’s what it is). Not featured: Kick ass music.
Space jump test!
That stuff there? It hurts me and hinders my progress. And, that wall is totally not suspicious.
Or not. This statue, as you can see drains the..stuff when it’s activated.
Oh, hay, a drain. A drain that’s clogged. Let’s call the two toilet monkey brothers.
It’s just a Space Jump away.
Hay, I think I may have -accidently- killed your brother. No hard feelings, rite?
Hahah! Fooled you!
It’s solid. Damnit.
OH HOLY FUCK YES! YES! YES! This enhancement.. Well, wait. I’ll show you pictures and you can figure it out.
Seems to like to cut through brick!
And more brick. Can it do more?
Always take the time to check for anything out of the ordinary in this place.
More brick. This weapon can cut through solid brick. Hm.
There’s an upgrade through a hidden tunnel right here.
Let’s see what’s through here. I’m sure it’s safe and won’t require me to use my Screw Attack.
I remember too much of this game.
Well, hell. We’ll go down first.
Down, down down. Oh look, stuff to blow up. Oh look, only one way to go now.
Hmmm. Looks like a dead end.
There are no such things as dead ends in this game. Except, of course, where there are dead ends.
As shown here. Let’s not waste a Powerbomb right this second.
An upgrade room.
Spikes are our friends, too. Let’s see what’s behind the door.
Well, I’ll just blast these guys and make my way across.
Note how much damage I took and Super Missiles I used.
I like to call this a refill room.
Exit door left.
Space Jump is fun. Let’s just go through this door and..
Call this a feeling, but I think I’m gonna roll through this one. And get my Powerbombs at the ready.
Hrm. I think I’ll randomly lay a Powerbomb right about here and..
OH FUCK EYES!
Protip: Roll into this room, and drop a powerbomb before Space Dragon awakens, and you get one free cheap shot on him. A cheap shot on this guy is a blessing.
Revenge time. We’re armed now!
This is so insanely satisfying. I didn’t get any shots of the battle, because timing jumping Super Missiles are hard enough without thinking about taking a picture.
I enter doors in STYLE.
OSHI~ (Tell me you know what this is and why it’s very important right now.)
This door again. Let’s go through it now!
It’s kind of ugly around here. There was an energy tank down here, too.
Only one way to go.
Blocked. I want that upgrade.
Wait. What. There’s two ways to go now?
As guilty as that wall looks, there’s nothing behind it.
YAY! Though, I’m getting another feeling from here..
This maze leads back to the Powerbomb upgrade. Once I go through the maze, I can’t go back through it.
There’s some..thing with the floor. Some. Thing.
This lets us re-enter ‘charted’ upper Nofair. It’s one-way, though.
Minor backtracking. It’s the stuff FUN is made of.
Remember how I mentioned I had forgot something here?
Well, there it is.
WTFWTFWTF! How can the Screw Attack eat through solid cliff?
Let’s see where this takes us.
Another Screw Attack gauntlet. This one features that stuff that and hurt us, and enemies that are invulnerable to the Screw Attack.
That’s it? Man, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
O. I shut up now.
Another Screw Attack puzzle. I love the name alone. Screw Attack. It totally doesn’t have any innuendo. At all.
This leads to those.
Those go bye bye when you touch them. See the problem? There’s a way to get both upgrades at once.
Here’s my stats. Are we ready to finish this?! Will the story start to make sense!? Can you figure out what will happen!?